Weight: 158.2
Overnight: -0.8
Overall: -20.8
B: apple
L: apple
S: tomatoes
D: broccoli, cauliflower
Read Step 1 from the 12-step Addiction Recovery program manual. Finally decided to be honest with myself that I have a problem and I can't resolve it on my own.
Leading up to that was so hard. It was so ... heavy? admitting that I have a problem. But once I did, I felt better. I feel better. Almost like it was a dark secret that has finally been exposed so now I can breathe easy.
I went with my friend to an OA (Over-eaters Anonymous) meeting tonight. It was good. It was better than good. It was comforting to be with others who had a problem, but had recognized, admitted and started working on the problem. The happiness they shared and the peace they expressed gave me hope. I'm still on the fence as to whether or not I want to join, but for sure I want to go back. One of the members tonight said he hadn't known how to nourish himself with food. That's me. I don't know how to use food properly. And I need to learn. Desperately.
I've been debating so much whether or not to finish out this program. After Marilyn decided to stop it made me seriously question my commitment. I'm not even half-way to where I want to be. My goal was to lose 60 lbs and I can't seem to make it past 20. I don't want to give up, but I'm having such a hard time continuing. I think, though, after attending the OA meeting tonight, I decided I need to give this program some more time. I need to give my best effort. I have faithfully stuck to it and not cheated. Now I need to stick it out and not give up.
I hope I can.
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Thank you for sharing, Net. After this wonderful weekend at the Wellness Retreat, I also am taking a more Wholistic view of my "weight" situation. It is not just about what I am eating,... but what's eating me. And I did get some tools from this weekend that is helping me look at my weight as just one piece of the entire ME puzzle that needs to be re-adjusted. Oh, and I don't want anyone to get the impression that I am planning on quitting the hCG program. I will finish the program, I just intend to take the break at the end (or close to) my 40 days. I also seemed to have hit a stubborn plateau, after the first apprx 20 lbs loss. I rather break and restart and loose another 20 lbs for a total of 40 lbs loss, than to keep going and at the end of the 60th day of injection, to only have lost a total of 30 lbs. May God continue to bless you. Stay encouraged...you are not alone.
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